Quote of the day

"Dreaming is good, but waking into those dreams is better."

By Palle Oswald

Leave Me Alone

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He doesn't even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he is feeling, he wonders if he did something wrong. Jack has to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees are a couple of Aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose. Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the Aspirins, and cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.

Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick.

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling. Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, "What happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me."

His son replies, "Oh that. Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, I'm married!'"

Written in Sand and Stone

One day two friends were walking through the desert. Somewhere in the middle of the journey, both got into serious argument, the result of which one of them could not resist his anger and slapped the other in the face. Really he was hurt and immediately wrote on the sand:

"Today My best friend slapped me."

Afterward they continued their journey till they found an oasis. There they wanted to rest for a while and prepared to take bath in the water. First the person who got slapped entered and got stuck in the mire, started drowning. The other who slapped his friend saved him from drowning. After the recovery from a near death he engraved the words on a nearby stone like this.

"Today my best friend saved my life."

The other got confused and questioned the difference. The friend replied that, whenever we get hurt by the behaviour or actions of someone we have to remember it like the words those are written on the sand where the winds of 'forgiveness' can easily erase it from our memories.

Whenever we got benefited or saved from a danger by somebody, we have to fix them in our mind like letters engraved on a hard rock permanently where the winds of forgetting can't erase them. This increases our gratitude and indebtedness towards the people who are genuine in their nature.

Give An Excuse

A man in his 40's bought a new BMW and was out on the Trans Canada Highway for a nice evening drive. The top down, breeze blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up. As the needle went over 140 km/h, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
"There's no way they can catch my BMW," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 160, 180.... then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift, and it's Christmas eve. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."
"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

Quote of the day

Love doesn't hurt, love doesn't cut, and in dark times love doesn't cease.
Love heals, love seals, it drains out the world and leaves you with peace.


By Palle Oswald

Quote of the day

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."

By Jimmy Dean

The Road Less Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
"Two roads diverged in a wood,
And I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."


By Robert Frost

You Will Walk

I went for a night prayer at one church and in the midst of the prayer session, a member touched my shoulder and said, "YOU WILL WALK."
I didn't understand because I'm not disabled, but when I got out of the church, I realized my transport money had been stolen.

Fire of Friendship

A man called Ali is in need of money and asks his boss to help him out. His boss sets him a challenge: if he can spend all night on the top of a mountain, he will receive a great reward; if he fails, he will have to work for free. The story continues:

When he left the shop, Ali noticed that an icy wind was blowing. He felt afraid and decided to ask his best friend, Aydi, if he thought he was mad to accept the wager.
After considering the matter for a moment, Aydi answered:
‘Don’t worry, I’ll help you. Tomorrow night, when you’re sitting on top of the mountain, look straight ahead.
‘I’ll be on the top of the mountain opposite, where I’ll keep a fire burning all night for you.

‘Look at the fire and think of our friendship; and that will keep you warm.
‘You’ll make it through the night, and afterwards, I’ll ask you for something in return.’

Ali won the wager, got the money, and went to his friend’s house.
‘You said you wanted some sort of payment in return.’

Aydi said, ‘Yes, but it isn’t money. Promise that if ever a cold wind blows through my life, you will light the fire of friendship for me.’


Extract from ALEPH by Paulo Coelho

Quote of the day

"If you are the one perfect person in an imperfect world, you are flawed."

By Palle Oswald

Quote of the day

"In the end, we will be haunted more by the mistakes we didn't make than by the ones we did make."

By Palle Oswald

Drunk Test

Brian was pulled over for speeding, and as the cop approached his car, he noticed lighter fluid, matches, and torches, all in the passenger seat right next to him. “Sir,” said the cop, motioning to the paraphernalia.  “Can I ask why you have that stuff in the car? ”
“Well officer,” said Brian, “it’s quite simple. I’m a juggler in a circus and this is my equipment.”
The cop, clearly not believing him, insisted that he come over to the side of the road and juggle the torches so he can see if his story was indeed true. Just then an elderly couple cruised by and the old man turned to his wife, “Suzie, am I glad I finally  gave up drinking.  Can you believe the drinking test they are giving now?!”

How To Get Away With Speeding

So there was this female business executive who was late for a meeting. She is going 65 on a street where the speed limit is 40. A cop pulls her over and says, “Ma’am, can I please see your license?”
She says, “I’m sorry, officer, but I got it revoked two years ago for drunk driving.”
His brow furrows and he straightens up. “Well, can I please see the registration of your car?”
She says, “I stole the car and I killed the driver. He’s in the trunk.”
“Ma’am, DON’T MOVE, I’m calling for backup.” He mutters furiously into his walkie-talkie… Five minutes later, half the squad pulls up, the Chief of Police walks over to the woman’s window.
“Ma’am, can I see your license?” he asks sternly.
“Of course, officer,” she smiles demurely and pulls out a license from her purse. He squints warily at it.
“This looks legitimate,” he mumbles. “Can I see the registration to this car?”
She pulls it out of the glove compartment and hands it to him.
“Ma’am, stand back.” He bangs open the trunk of the car and flinches, but it was completely empty. The woman brandishes a finger at the first cop and says accusingly, “And I’ll bet that liar told you I was speeding too!”

Dear Santa

Dear Santa, For this year I’m requesting, a fat bank account, and a small body.

P.S. This year, please don’t mix them up, like you did last year!

Qoute of the day

"You can be comfortable or courageous, but you can not be both."

- Brene Brown

Winds of Winter

My teeth chattering, ears numb and lips cracking.
The wind howling, tears frozen. I wrap myself in layers of loneliness against the winter's cold.
My heart hardened in an icy mold.

Will they laugh if they saw the true me?  
Should I let them comfort me?
Would they cry if they saw me crying?
So why does nobody mourn as I sit here dying?
       
Then a ray of light pierced the mist.
As she came along to bring colour into my world.
The harbringer of Spring to melt my snow.            
And leave a handprint on a new heart.

Summer came soon enough with footprints in the sand.
Twinkles in her eyes and flowers in her hair.
The air rung with laughter that sounded like forever.          
As waves kissed our legs to make goodbye seem a forgotten word.
I never saw a palace, yet she made me feel a king.    
In my darkest hour, she made me bling.
In my finest nights, she was my dreams.

"I will never forsake you, my love
I swear it on those things eternal
I am your lady and you are my man
I will be by your side forever and ever."

But forever didn't survive the first sting of Autumn's chill.  
As I reach by my side and my fingers close around nothing.
I look over a shoulder to see waves wash away proof of her presence.
After all the laughter I'm back where the tears began.
I stand all alone once again, lost to myself.
Where's my sun, my moon, my world?
Is love the answer or just an attempt at the question?

I look ahead at the endless stretch of sand.
And my palms itch in memory of another's hand.
As I take the first step to hope fortune favours the bold.
And somehow I no longer dread the coming cold.


By Palle Oswald

Shaking Off

A man's favorite donkey falls into a deep precipice. He can't pull it out no matter how hard he tries. He therefore decides to bury it alive. Soil is poured onto the donkey from above. The donkey feels the load, shakes it off, and steps on it. More soil is poured. It shakes it off and steps up. The more the load was poured, the higher it rose. By noon, the donkey was grazing in green pastures.

After much shaking off (of problems) And stepping up (learning from them), One will graze in GREEN PASTURES.

Act of Valor

Live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart,
Trouble no one about his religion,
Respect others and their views,
And demand that they respect yours,
Love your life, perfect your life,
Beautify all things in your life,
Seek to make your life long and of service to your people,
When your time comes to die,
Be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death,
So that when their time comes they weep and pray,
For a chance to live their life over again in a different way,
Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.


-Act of Valor

The Two Wolves

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Dear Jesus

“A little boy wanted a bicycle but he did not know best how to pray for one. So as he was watching a church television program, a very traditional service, he saw how the minister prayed. And so, at the end of the day the lad got on his knees and said: "Lord, if it is in Your Sovereign will and in Your Eternal plan that I can get myself a bicycle - in Your time and according to Your will - would you please get me a bicycle In Jesus name I pray. Amen."
Two days later, there was still no bicycle and he began to think he needed a different prayer. So, he turned on the television again to watch another type of ministry in operation. And at the end of the day, he got on his knees and said: "Lord, I declare my need for a bicycle! And I declare that it will be a nice blue-colored bicycle and delivered to my home within 24 hours. I lay claim to it, Amen!"
After several days and still not having received a bicycle. As he was passing through the hall he saw a statue of the Virgin Mary there on one of the shelves. He took the statue off of the shelf and disappeared somewhere. Later that night as he got ready for bed, the little boy got down on his knees and said, "Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again..."

Quote of the day

"Wisdom is what you get for a lifetime of listening when you would have preferred to talk."

By Doug Larson

Quote of the day

"Make allowances for your friend's imperfections as readily as you do for your own."

By H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Quote of the day

"Before going to bed, whisper into the darkness what you expect from your sunrise. There is nothing like going to bed with a dream and waking up with a purpose."

By Palle Oswald

Bored to Death

As soon as he died, Juan found himself in a very beautiful place, surrounded by all the comfort and beauty that he had dreamed of.
A figure dressed in white came up to him: “You are entitled to anything you want.”
Enchanted, Juan did everything he had dreamed of during life.
After many years of pleasure, he sought out the figure in white.
He said that he had experienced everything and that now he needed a little work to make him feel useful.
“That’s the only thing I cannot get for you,” said the figure in white.
“But I’ll spend eternity dying of boredom! I’d much rather be in hell!”
“And where do you think you are?”

The Victor

If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you like to win but think you can't,
It's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost.
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow's will.
It's all in the state of mind.
If you think you are out classed, you are.
You've got to think high to rise.
You've got to be sure of your-self before
You can ever win the prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

By C.W.  Longenecker

When I Say...

When I say ... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting, "I'm saved"
I'm whispering, "I get lost!"
"That is why I chose this way"

When I say ... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride
I'm confessing that I stumble,
and need someone to be my guide

When I say ... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong,
I'm professing that I'm weak,
and pray for strength to carry on

When I say ... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success,
I'm admitting that I've failed,
and cannot ever pay the debt

When I say ... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
my flaws are way too visible
but God believes I'm worth it

When I say ... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
which is why I seek His Name

When I say ... "I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge
I have no authority,
I only know I'm loved!

Quote of the day

"Imagination is everything. It is a preview of life's coming attractions. Imagination is more important than knowledge."

By Albert Einstein

The Healing Prayer

On a Sunday morning, an elderly couple were seated infront of the TV watching a church sermon when the pastor said, "To all those at home watching this, I will heal you from afar as Jesus once did. As I pray, put your right hand on your TV set and your left hand on where you have the sickness."
Immediately, the wife puts her right hand on the TV screen and puts her left hand on her swollen ankle. But the man puts his right hand on TV screen and his left between his legs.
The wife frowned. "It seems you did not understand, dear. This prayer is to heal the sick and not to raise the dead."

A Pound of Butter

There was a farmer who always sold a pound of butter to a baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court. The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. 
The farmer replied, "Your Honor, I am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a scale." 
The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter?" 
The farmer replied, "Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."
 
Don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. Self deception is the worst kind of blunder, the lie always comes home to roost.

Quote of the day

"Believe you can and you're halfway there."

By Theodore Roosevelt

Quote of the day

"Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy."

By Benjamin Franklin

Mind over Matter

Are you your body?
Most people would answer “yes”. But if you identify the body as yourself, and simultaneously accept that you exist now and also existed five years ago, then you are wrong: The body you had five years ago does not exist today. There is a dynamic turnover of atoms and molecules that make up your body. There isn’t a single particle of matter—not one atom—present in your body today that was present five years ago. It’s not that the body you had still exists but has now changed somewhat. No. The body you had is completely gone. That collection of atoms appearing as flesh, bone, blood, hair, and so on no longer exists. Yet you still exist.
Studies at the Oak Ridge Atomic Research Center revealed that about 98 percent of all the atoms in a human body are replaced every year. You get a new suit of skin every month and a new liver every six weeks. The lining of your stomach lasts only five days before it’s replaced. Even your bones are not the solid, stable structures you might have thought them to be: They are undergoing constant change. The bones you have today are different from the bones you had a year ago.
Experts in this area of research have concluded that there is a complete, 100 percent turnover of atoms in the body at least every five years. In other words, not one single atom present in your body today was there five years ago. So when you look at a picture of “yourself” taken only seven years ago, you are looking at a body that no longer exists. That collection of atoms and molecules that went by a particular, distinct, collective label (your name) no longer exists.
Yet you know that you existed seven years ago; you were there. You also know you exist right now. The same you, or self, who existed then also exists now. It's all in the mind, the self. If it can transcend the physical, maybe it can transform the spiritual. Therefore your mind is your world, why not give it a try. Condition your mind to break free from the drawbacks of your past, to dispense of the failures and tribulations of your old self. Train your mind to embrace the hope and beauty of new horizons and your world will make it happen.

Quote of the day

"The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life."

By Muhammad Ali

Seasons of Life

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.
The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall.
When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.
The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.
The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.
The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.
He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.
If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.
Moral:
Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.
Don't judge life by one difficult season.
Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come sometime or later.

Quote of the day

"Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people."

By Eleanor Roosevelt

The Clever Old Man

One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruits. As he neared the pond, he heard voices laughing and shouting with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of them shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave."
The old man frowned. "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I am here to feed the alligator."

PHONE CALLS

FATHER TO BOY:          00:00: 07

BOY TO FATHER:          00:00: 27

BOY TO MOTHER:        00: 01: 30

BOY TO GIRL:               01: 20: 59

GIRL TO GIRL:              12: 36: 32: 69: 23

BOY TO BOY:                MISSED CALL

Akpos the Police Aspirant

Akpos was taking his final exam at Police College and here is one of the questions:
"You are on patrol in the outskirts of town when there is an explosion. On investigation, you find a large hole has been blown in the footpath and there is an overturned van lying nearby. Inside the van there is a strong smell of alcohol. Both occupants - a man and woman - are injured. You recognize the woman as the wife of your Divisional Inspector, who is presently away on a Peace Making Mission In Sudan. A passing motorist stops to offer you assistance and you realize that he is a man who is wanted for armed robbery. Suddenly another man runs out of a nearby house, shouting that his wife is expecting a baby and that the shock of the explosion has made the birth imminent. Another man is crying for help, having been blown into an adjacent canal by the explosion, and he cannot swim. Describe in a few words, what action will you take?" 
Akpos thought for a moment, picked up his pen, and wrote: "I would take off my uniform and walk away. The mission is impossible."

Quote of the day

"Try to be like the turtle - at ease in your own shell."

By Bill Copeland

Quote of the day

"If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth."

By Logan Pearsall Smith

FBI

The following is a direct quote from the Center for Strategic and International Studies report on GLOBAL ORGANIZED CRIME; the author who introduces the story swears it's true.
FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues.
The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital.

Agent: Hello. I would like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.
Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?
Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.
Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.
Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?
Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.
Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front (go) to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas.
Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?
Pizza Man: And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?
Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.
Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?
Agent: I have my checkbook right here.
Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.
Pizza Man: I don't think so.

Akpos the Blind man

Akpos sat by the road with a sign 'I am blind' around his neck. He was begging for alms when a passer-by dropped a counterfeit bill into his pan.
Akpos called, "Excuse me sir, but I have to tell you that your money is a counterfeit and I dont like it."
The man was surprised and said, "How did you know its a counterfeit?"
Akpos replied, "Well, I am not blind. I am standing in for my blind friend who always sits here."
"And where is your friend?" the man asked.
Akpos said, "He has gone to the cinema to watch a movie."

Ever Wonder?

 

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish-washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of Progress?

Quote of the day

"If you want to make a difference, think different."

By Palle Oswald

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking

When you thought I wasn't looking
You hung my first painting on the refrigerator
And I wanted to paint another.

When you thought I wasn't looking
You fed a stray cat
And I thought it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking
You baked a birthday cake just for me
And I knew that little things were special things.

When you thought I wasn't looking
You said a prayer
And I believed there was a God that I could always talk to.

When you thought I wasn't looking
You kissed me goodnight
And I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw tears come from your eyes
And I learned that sometimes things hurt
But that it's alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking
You smiled
And it made me want to look that pretty too.

When you thought I wasn't looking
You cared
And I wanted to be everything I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking - I looked...
And wanted to say thanks
For all those things you did
When you thought I wasn't looking.

By Mary Rita Schilke

Quote of the day

"I don't understand why women want to be equal to men. If they know my mother, they will be ashamed. Show some ambition, be better."

By Palle Oswald

Great Moments in Physics

The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen.
"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."
One student replied:
"You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."
This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed. The student appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.
For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use.
On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:
"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer."
"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper."
"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi sqroot (l / g)."
"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up."
"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building."
"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."
The student was Niels Bohr,the only person from Denmark to win the Nobel prize for Physics.

Quote of the day

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily."

By Zig Ziglar

Einstein's Chauffer

This is a true life anecdote about Albert Einstein, and his theory of relativity.
After having propounded his famous theory, Albert Einstein would tour the various Universities in the United States, delivering lectures wherever he went. He was always accompanied by his faithful chauffer, Harry, who would attend each of these lectures while seated in the back row. One fine day, after Einstein had finished a lecture and was coming out of the auditorium into his vehicle, Harry addresses him and says, "Professor Einstein, I've heard your lecture on Relativity so many times, that if I were ever given the opportunity, I would be able to deliver it to perfection myself!"
"Very well," replied Einstein, "I'm going to Dartmouth next week. They don't know me there. You can deliver the lecture as Einstein, and I'll take your place as Harry."
And so it went to be... Harry delivered the lecture to perfection, without a word out of place, while Einstein sat in the back row playing "chauffer", and enjoying a snooze for a change.
Just as Harry was descending from the podium, however, one of the research assistants intercepted him, and began to ask him a question on the theory of relativity, one that involved a lot of complex calculations and equations. Harry replied to the assistant, "The answer to this question is very simple. In fact, it's so simple, that I'm going to let my chauffer answer it!"

Quote of the day

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday."

By Don Marquis